


Are you sure about this?

by caseyd1a, iamthehelperdog



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Assassins, F/F, R.E.D. AU, Retired extremely dangerous, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 08:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16194080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caseyd1a/pseuds/caseyd1a, https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamthehelperdog/pseuds/iamthehelperdog
Summary: Raven and Istus are telling their grandson, Angus, the story of how two assassins for hire met and fell in love.





	Are you sure about this?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was more self indulgent than anything. I had a lot of fun writing it. It will probably seem ooc but, like i said self-indulgent. I owe a big thanks to iamthehelperdog! Thanks for listening and encouraging all of the AUs. ALL OF THEM. You should definitely check out her ask blog with Angus and Kravitz! ask-reaper-and-son.tumblr.com
> 
> This fic is loosely based off the idea from the movie RED (Retired and Extremely Dangerous) and then took a spin towards When Harry met Sally. Istus and Raven a retired assassins/mercenaries. They raised Kravitz together who is now raising Angus.
> 
> Anyway, ENJOY!

The camera focuses in on two older women sitting on a love-seat together holding hands. One woman is wearing a tailored suit and has dreads with gold ringlets. The other is wearing a maxi dress with hints of pastel colors dyed randomly into the white fabric. The woman in the suit whispers something to the other and she giggles.

 

“Alright, Grandma, Nana? A-are you ready?” The voice of a young boy asks from behind the camera.

 

“So we’re doing what for your school project again, Angus?” The woman in the suit asked with a slight British accent.

 

“Telling the story of how you two met.” Angus smiled brightly.

 

“Ah right!” The brightly dressed woman answered. “Well Raven, You should start. After all you saw me first.” She says while a hint of blush touches her cheeks.

 

“Well I don’t know if you’ll be able to use the real story for school, Angus.” Raven explained.

 

“Pllllleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeee?” He put on his best puppy dog eyes.

 

“Fine.” Raven didn’t even try to fight it. “But, I really don’t think you’ll be able to use it.” She paused and looked at her expectant grandson. “Let’s see. I had been hired to kill some German man by…. Oh who was it Istus?” Raven looked to Istus for help.

 

“You were hired by some American oil company, dear.” She turned to face the camera “I was hired by a sheikh.”

 

_________

 

Raven watched a guard walk by and looked at her watch. They were coming every fifteen minutes or so. She waited in the bushes for the next one to come by then she would make her move.

 

Sure enough at the fifteen minute mark the guard passed by and went around the corner. She bolted across the open space from the hedges to the mansion. She jumped and used the masonry to climb to an open second story window.

 

She pulled herself in. She had memorized the floor plan several times over and bolted to a linen closet. She sat and listened for any movement. It was 0241. No one in the house should be awake.

 

She didn’t hear any movement so she crept downstairs to Brian Schwarze-Spinne’s home office. 

 

She quickly picked the locks on his desk drawers. There she found the personal ledger with the codes to the accounts in charge of some very valuable oil fields. She looked around to see if there was anything else of value.

 

Brian would be dead soon so it wouldn’t matter if something was missing. She ran her gloved fingers over the books on the shelves and found something she wasn’t expecting.  _ Fake books. _

 

She pulled open the panel of fake books to find several small screens displaying various areas of the house.  _ Lucky break _ . This closed camera system hadn’t been listed on anything she’d found about this place.

 

She looked at the various screens when something or rather  _ someone _ caught her eye. The woman who had caught her eye was in the basement. From what Raven could tell, a robust woman in all black was doing something to the pipes.

 

Raven looked at her watch. It was now 0305. She had to kill Brian before 0525 so she had time as long as nothing odd happened. 

 

The woman on the screen finished what she was doing and stood back to admire her work for a moment then moved stealthily to the stairs. She watched the woman move through the halls. Her figure moving across one screen and onto the next. It looked almost like...

 

A brief moment of panic hit Raven then her rational mind took over. She closed the panel and scampered up the book shelf that lined the wall. There was about a foot between the top of the book shelf and the ceiling. She got as up against the wall as she could. The bookcase was about two feet deep. Likely to accommodate the surveillance equipment as well as other hidden panels she hadn’t found yet. The woman probably wouldn’t turn the lights on. Something told Raven she didn’t want to be caught here either.

 

Raven heard the door open. The woman stepped in and looked around but, not up. She went over to the desk and pulled out some lock picking tools. Her face twisted in confusion when she found the desk was already unlocked.

 

Now that she was so close Raven had a chance to take her in. She was in an all black outfit just like Raven but, instead of a body suit it was more of a jumpsuit. This woman was tall, with broad shoulders and muscle bound arms. She wore a black knit cap with a large knot of hair wrapped up at the base of her neck. In the dark, Raven couldn’t tell if it was blonde or silver. 

 

The woman’s face was what threw her for a loop. It looked so soft and beautiful. She had full lips that were pulled into a tight line at she searched for something in the desk. Raven prayed it wasn’t the ledger.

 

She held her breath watching the woman rifle through papers. She stopped and pulled a single sheet out and read through it quickly folding it up after and tucking it into one of the cargo pockets on her jumpsuit.

 

The woman glanced around one more time before leaving and closing the door behind her. When Raven heard her down the hallway she climbed back down and opened up the book panel again. She watched the woman make her way back to the basement. 

 

She opened the outer basement door cautiously and looked around briefly then came the rest of the way up and out quietly closing the door behind her and running to the hedges.

 

Raven shook herself after staring at where the woman disappeared for a few minutes. She ejected the recording tape from the camera system and placed it and the ledger into her small backpack. She gave one last look around the office and headed for the basement.

 

Once in the basement, her stomach lurched when looked at what had been done to the pipes. The woman had set up a bomb it wasn’t very large but, it was on top of the gas main and it wouldn’t take much to cause a large explosion that way.

 

She examined the bomb closer. There didn’t seem to be any failsafes but, it was set up to be triggered remotely. The woman’s plan was probably to set it off when she was safe distance away. What a messy way to assassinate someone. You couldn’t even really be sure this would kill the target. 

 

The first thing she did was disable the remote trigger. Now that it wouldn’t go off, she tucked the plastic explosive into her bag and tossed the electronics into the furnace. Then made her way up to the third floor. She silently entered Brian’s room.

 

She stood next to his bed and watched him sleep peacefully for a moment as she pulled a syringe out of her bag. She pulled off the cap protecting the needle and injected it into-”

 

_______

 

“MUM! That is not a necessary part of this story and hardly appropriate for Angus!” Kravitz chastised.

 

“He’s right sweetheart.” Istus agreed giving her a look.

 

“ _ You’re _ the one who said to give him the real story! Don’t blame me.” Raven crossed her arms defensively.

 

“I-uh well I didn’t mean the killing part. How old was Kravitz before we let him know the bloody, gory details?” Istus tried to reason.

 

“I can handle it. I promi-” Angus was cut off.

 

“Six. We waited until he was six.” Raven stated.

 

“Okay. Well… we also didn’t know any better then and were also living in an undeveloped part of Mexico at the time so maybe that was a bad example.” Istus chuckled. “I’ll just pick up with where I was. I had made it a ways out…”

 

_____

 

Istus had been hiking for quite some time. She crested a hill and looked back at the mansion for the last time.

 

She pulled the deed to the oil fields out of her pocket and inspected it one last time. After this, she wouldn’t get another chance. Everything would be blown to smithereens.

 

She pulled the detonator out of her breast  pocket. An excited smile spread across her face. This was her favorite part. Sure, she could snipe them or break their neck but, watching something so magnificent be obliterated? That was magical.

 

She turned the safety off and pressed the button watching expectantly but, there was nothing. A deep feeling of dread spread over her. She had triple checked _ everything _ . What the _ fuck  _ was going on?

 

Istus went through the plans in her head a dozen times. She looked at her watch. There was no way she could get back in there now. It was 0523. The target would be getting woken up by his butler soon. She’d have to wait at least a week before she got another chance and that was assuming no one found the bomb in the basement.

 

She punched a tree next to her out of frustration and immediately hissed in pain. She was just so damn pissed. She pulled a small but, powerful pair of night vision binoculars out of her pocket and looked at the mansion. Not a lot of movement. 

 

She wasn’t sure why but, she felt like she needed to keep watching. After a few minutes, something had definitely happened. The guards all started swarming.

 

_ Shit. They had found the bomb. Shit. Shit. Shit. _

 

Istus turned and continued trekking through the forest until she came to her motorcycle. She quickly changed into the clothes she had stashed there earlier. A leather bombers jacket lined with wool, a flannel shirt, some jeans, and riding boots. She let her hair down and rolled her jumpsuit up and stuffed it into one of the side bags on her bike and her combat boots into the other. She clipped on her half helmet and rode off.

 

It was about three hours later when she sat in a hotel room watching the news on the television. Tycoon Brian Schwarze-Spinne had been poisoned in his sleep. 

 

_ What? _

 

\-------------

 

News spread fast through the underground channels some assassin for hire that went by RQ had taken Brian out. Istus still got paid because Brian was dead and she had retrieved the deed but, she was left seething that someone had not only stolen her kill out from under her but, disabled her bomb.

 

She tried to dig up anything on this RQ. All she was able to find though were blurry shots of what appeared to be woman. The clearest picture she could procure through her channels was a picture of the woman from behind.

 

She wore a skin tight, black bodysuit. Istus’ eyes lingered on the curves of the woman’s body. She was…. Fit. She seemed to have a belt with some equipment and a small backpack. Her hair was a short bob of dreads. If she wasn’t her competitor, she was exactly the kind of woman Istus often found herself pursuing. 

 

\--------------

 

Raven played the tape again pausing when the woman’s grainy face was in full view of the camera. She had watched the tape obsessively since she had gotten home from that job.

 

A couple months had gone by. She hadn’t spread the woman’s image around. That was asking for trouble. A good way for the woman to find her.

 

She had asked her contacts if they knew about a tall muscle clad woman who’s MO was explosives. She’d heard a couple names. The one that stuck out was Lady Fate because people said she had natural silver hair despite being quite young.

 

She rewinded the tape again.

 

\------------

“Grandma, why did you keep watching the tape?” Angus asked.

 

Raven blushed a little. “There was just something about your Nana… I couldn’t get her out of my head.”

 

“R-really? So did you ask her on a date the next time you ran into each other?” He asked excitedly.

 

“Well not… exactly.” 

\------------

“AHAHAHA! Oh Bane you are too funny!” Raven absolutely hated that this job had resulted in her acting like a bimbo to infiltrate security. 

 

She was currently at a rooftop party with a dress that felt tighter and more revealing than her body suit. She took a deep breath and sipped her champaign. The payout would be worth it she just had to get this idiot home where she could poison him and make it look like he had a heart attack.

 

She muddled through the rest of the party. She got invited back to his place afterwards like she knew she would be. He lived in the penthouse of a skyscraper, Raven didn’t get what the big deal was. There were taller buildings around but, she acted like it was exciting; like it was the most amazing thing she’d  _ ever _ seen.

 

She walked over to the ceiling to floor windows in the bedroom. There were two buildings across from where she stood that were taller and much more impressive. She caught her own reflection. This dress wasn’t her favorite. She tucked a lock behind her ear and turned around and gave her prey an alluring smile and sauntered towards him.

 

Things were starting to heat up when Raven was suddenly covered in the man’s blood. His lifeless body slumped back onto the bed with two more holes than he’d had before. One in his head and one in his chest. 

 

She turned towards the window that had been at her back. Her eyes took in the now open, shattered window and focused on a skyscraper in the distance. It was far but, it had to be the only place someone could have gotten a clear shot.

 

\-----------

Istus flinched away from the sight of her rifle. After she shot the target, she was  _ observing _ the woman he was about to have relations with and she’d glared right at Istus. 

 

The woman looked to be average height maybe 5’5”. She had umber skin. She was lean but, toned. It was really the way she carried herself that caught Istus’ attention. She was calm and looked like she was ready to do battle. That couldn’t be right? But, there she stood. Covered in the blood of her lover, hair blowing in the wind, glaring at Istus with fury. She looked like a painting of Athena, goddess of war.

 

That woman should be in shock but, instead she looked like she was… calculating. Istus told herself she’d figure it out later. She needed to move.

 

She quickly broke down her rifle and stuffed it into her backpack. She made her way to the elevators and pried open the doors and climbed inside the chute. She started climbing down the service ladder.

 

This took more time than the elevator but, this way she didn’t run into as many people. The less people who took in her face then better. She eventually got down to the basement level and pried those doors open too. 

 

She left the building through an access door into the alley way. Once she was on the side walks she blended into the crowd. Her thoughts dominated with images of the beautiful, furious woman through the scope.

 

\-----------

“So the first time you saw Grandma you were scared of her?” Angus looked very concerned.

 

“Uh-” Istus chuckled. “That’s certainly one way of putting it. But,” Istus leaned towards Angus and loudly whispered. “You’ve seen what she’s like when she’s upset. Can you blame me?”

 

“Darling, that’s not very nice.” Raven chastised her.

 

“Just wait until you hear about our first face to face meeting. You’ll understand why.” Istus said with a knowing smile.

\-----------

 

Raven was livid. There was no way she could have gotten out of there. Other people in the building had heard the window shatter. She’d had to keep acting her part of the bimbo for the police.

 

When she eventually got away she’d had to burn that cover identity. There went money down the drain. On top of that, she didn’t get paid for the kill because it very obviously wasn’t her kill.

 

She spent the next month pouring all her rage and time into figuring out who had stolen her paycheck.

 

That name came up again. The Lady Fate. A robust female mercenary with long silver hair. Her proficiencies were: explosives, sniping, and hand to hand. From what Raven heard this woman was  _ strong _ . Several of her noted kills were done by snapping her target’s neck.

 

She was one to be wary of. 

 

She needed to relax. She put on a set of her favorite street clothes and went to a bar. Well not a bar. She went to a bar where people like her frequented. 

 

She walked in and sat at the bar and nodded to the bartender. “Whiskey on the rocks please.”

 

“Alright but, no trouble tonight.” The bartender was a tall hulking man with curly brown hair that faded into a beard peppered with ginger strands.

 

He gave her her drink and moved to tend to someone else. Raven sipped her drink contemplating what her next move would be. Should she just forget about Lady Fate? But, how could she? They kept running into each other. Sooner or later they were going to go head to head. 

 

From what she found out Lady Fate didn’t have a base of operations or even a known city of origin. So tracking her down would be difficult. Maybe she could lure her out and then get the jump on her.

\-----------

“Wait so you were going to kill Nana?!” Angus asked.

 

“Uh well you see I was afraid she was gonna kill me.” Raven tried to explain but, it just sounded bad anyway she phrased it in her head. “We’re almost done. It might make more sense at the end.”

 

“Okay but, you wouldn’t kill Nana now, right?” Angus asked looking worried.

 

Istus laughed. “I don’t think she could if she tried.”

 

\------------

Raven was in deep thought when a figure appeared next to her. She almost didn’t bother looking as they were at a bar and people tended to come here to order drinks. What made her look though was long silver hair in her peripheral. 

 

Raven forced herself not to jerk away and remain calm.  _ It couldn’t be _ . There’s no way it could be her. She waited for the figure to get their drink and go back to wherever they were.

 

She waited a minute. Then another. She slowly turned around and her eyes immediately found her. Lady Fate. The woman she had seen that night in Brian’s house. In the low light of the bar, Raven could make out more details than she had been able to in  the dark office. 

 

She had to be about 6’5”. She had long flowing silver hair. Her face was plump. Her cheeks carried a slight blush as she laughed heartily at something one of her drinking companions said. She shrugged off a brown bombers jacket covered in patches to reveal her broad, muscle clad shoulders and arms. She had a sleeve tattoo of a woman whose hair flowed down into the night sky filled with stars, planets, and galaxies.

 

Raven had to force herself to turn back around and stop staring. She had to tell herself to calm down. Her heart was fluttering but, it wasn’t from fear and that scared her even more.

 

“You should go say hi.” A voice jolted her from her internal monologue. 

 

It was the bartender. “Shut up, Pan. I thought you said you didn’t want any trouble.” She glared at him and chugged what was left in her glass. She had to get out of here. She pulled a ten out of her wallet and set it on the bar. “Keep the change.”  

 

With that Raven made her escape.

\----------

Istus caught a flurry of movement in her peripheral. A woman at the bar was trotting out. Istus’ eyes followed her to the door. Her eyebrows knit together. The woman looked familiar.

 

“You okay?” Leira asked.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I just- I gotta go. I’ll see you in a week for take off.” Istus said pulling her jacket on and jogging towards the door.

 

“Hey! What about the tab?” Leira called to her.

 

“I’ll pick it up next time!” Istus shouted back pushing through the door.

 

She looked both ways down the badly lit alley. This bar was out of the way and for good reason. Normal people didn’t come here.

 

To her left she caught a glimpse of a woman rounding the corner. At a half jog Istus chased after her. She tried to think of where she’d seen the woman before. Then she stopped in her tracks for a split second as her mind flashed to the woman covered in her target’s blood glaring at her from an impossible distance.

 

_ Oh shit. No fucking way. _

 

Istus resumed her pursuit. She followed the woman around one turn then another. She was gaining. It didn’t seem like the woman noticed her presence. The woman turned another corner. Istus followed. The woman went down a flight of stairs and into a basement door.

 

Istus went down the stairs and went through the door quietly. It was dimly lit but, she hardly had second to take the room in before she was slammed against a wall with a knife pressed against her throat.

 

“So, you did notice me, eh? Well I  _ refuse _ to let you kill me.” The woman looked pretty worked up.

 

“I didn’t- I wasn’t going to-” Istus tried to explain.

 

“Shut it!  _ You _ followed  _ me _ . I know you're an assassin. You stole  _ my _ bloody kill right out from undah me!” The woman looked like she was trying to convince herself and Istus saw a chance.

 

She knocked the woman’s hand away with one swift motion grabbed her by the same wrist and pulled her down and off balance. She quickly let go and backed away. She didn’t want to fight this woman. She just wanted to know who she was.

 

“Listen I don’t want to kill you or even hurt you. I just want to know who you are.” Istus stated now that she had her thoughts in order.

 

The woman laughed. “Why?” 

 

She watched the woman lower herself into a fighting stance. Her knife in her front hand. This was not going how Istus had wanted it to. 

 

“Uh, well when I saw you covered in blood-” Istus stopped and pinched the bridge of her nose trying to collect her thoughts.

 

The woman took that moment to swing the knife towards Istus’ face. She’s quick. Istus dodged backwards then grabbed the woman’s arm and used her own motion to pull her off balance again but, the time the woman twisted around using the added momentum to kick Istus in the head.

 

The woman then tucked and rolled. She quickly got up and charged Istus again releasing a flurry of blows and kicks. Istus blocked some but, this woman was relentless. 

 

Istus saw an opening and swept the woman’s legs. The woman quickly swept her legs in turn. Istus groaned as she hit the floor. The woman was on her in a second. They grappled around the dirty floor. 

 

Istus was on top of her slowly pulling her arms above her head. “Listen!” Istus shouted in a strained voice. “I just wanted to-”

 

The woman ripped her arms out of Istus’ grasp and shoved her off. She then pinned Istus’ arms with her legs and had her hands around Istus’ throat.

 

Istus tried to jerk her arms free but, there wasn’t any way she could think to get out of this. She looked up at the dark skinned woman strangling her. Even with the intense look of fury, she looked like she had just stepped out of a painting. Her eyes were the color of brandy and something in them made something in Istus want to reach up and caress her face. Her lips were coated in a maroon lipstick and even though they were pulled tight as she bared her teeth they still looked soft. 

 

It was in this moment Istus croaked out. “I just thought you looked beautiful.”

 

\-----------

Raven let go of Lady Fate’s neck absolutely perplexed. Come to think of it the woman hadn’t once attacked. She’d only deflected or tried to prevent Raven from attacking.

 

Lady Fate took that moment to swing her legs flipping them once again. This time Lady Fate used her legs to hold Raven’s legs still squeezing tightly. She roughly grabbed Raven’s arms and pulled them above her head once more.

 

Raven had already been breathing hard from grappling but, know she felt her heart flutter in an unwelcome way. Lady Fate leaned down close to her face. She looked at Raven with a hunger in her forest green eyes. Her long silver hair creating a curtain that blocked out everything leaving them in a strange isolated bubble. Raven thought for a moment she was definitely going to close the small gap between their lips. Hell, a part of her  _ wanted _ Lady Fate to kiss her.

 

“Listen, first off you are a really great fighter but, your grappling could use some work.” Lady Fate smirked. “Second, the name’s Istus. Third, I saw you the other night. I chased after you cause I wanted to ask what you were doing Tuesday night.”

 

\-----------

“So Grandma lost the fight?” Angus asked from the edge of his seat.

 

Raven pulled Istus’ hand lightly to her mouth. She kissed it lightly. “I like to think I won.”

 

Kravitz cleared his throat. “Alright, well Angus can’t use ANY of this for his project.”

 

Angus looked a little disappointed. “Dad’s right…”

 

“Well we could record our cover story. We don’t mind.” Istus offered.


End file.
